We evolved from monkeys for this?

Went to HR, signed a few standard background-check forms, then went to meet the Cath Lab Director for the main part of my interview. Did a tour, watched part of a procedure, talked a little bit more, and then went back to HR. Met the HR director to confirm some stuff on my application and discuss benefits, and that was that.

Got along great with everybody I think. Very nice people it seemed. Never really had an "Um..." moment, and I could tell that some of my answers were received very well.

Saw today that they're also hiring for their ER. HR lady said that they finally decided to stop pulling in ICU nurses and the PCC to cover when they're slammed, so they got approval to hire 2 full-time positions there. She asked if I'd be interested in that if I don't get the cath lab - said yes.

The cath lab position has been open since Sept. I asked about that, and the Director said that they had a couple of people leave at around the same time (red flag? somebody relocated, and ? multiple somebodys "...... um .... went ....". Does this mean people fled, chose to work in other departments, retired, some combination?). 2 people are new and have been training for since Feb, and these transferred in from elsewhere in the hospital. Still, the position has been open for a long time, and the reason it hasn't been filled is a lack of qualified applicants who would be willing to put in the on-call time. There's a lack of applicants who are qualified, yet there's an interview later this week and they're working on scheduling a third for sometime early next week? Or is that HR BS for "We don't want to hire you, so we'll give you the impression that somebody else got the job while we continue to hunt for people"?

The RNs are unionized. My base pay would be better than I make now, plus there's a differential for working in the cath lab, plus you get paid for being on call. There's a lot of on-call time, but supposedly actually coming in during that time kinda comes in spurts - some busy times, sometimes you go a week or more without being called. After crunching some numbers, at a minimum I'd be getting a ginormous pay raise. If the cath lab doesn't work out and I get hired for their ER, assuming no differentials/on-call pay I'd still be getting a nice pay raise - i.e. my last raise at IHDM x7.

Showed off some brain while we watched the cath - I think it made a positive impression that my question about the interpretation of images during an ultrasound was right, since obviously the new hire who was working with those images was still trying to master that. Me watching it for 2 minutes = same level of competency as someone you already hired, who has subsequently been trained on the equipment for X length of time. Also talked about the minor ST elevation that was on the monitor - that probably also made a good impression that I could discern that detail.

Didn't get asked nearly as many questions as I expected. No trick questions like what kind of candy bar I'd be. Talked about my favorite kind of ER patient, my least favorite kind of pt, how I've always done ER except for when I was rotating through Providence's internship - which led to me talking about their cath lab and how it was full of ex-ER nurses, which I think preemptively answered her pending question about why I wanted to work there. After that, we discussed the questions I had prepped, which the Director said she was happy I had thought enough to get some prepared. Demonstrated I had done my research and knew the name of one of the docs when she made a reference to 'he'. Considering there was only a he and a she, my question ("You mean Dr. X?") was kind of a no-brainer, but still showed that I'm serious with my interest.

The director spontaneously talked up the similarity in ER/cath lab where both departments give the RNs a lot more autonomy for decision-making than say, med-surg or even ICU. Good sign.

I want this job.

I have an interview coming up this week at the local hospital. It's for their cath lab instead of the ER, so time for a pro-con list.

Pro:
(Eva-related)
1) Drive 100 miles less per work day.
2) Spend dramatically less on gas.
3) Fewer oil changes/maintenance needs.
4) Better longevity for the car.
5) Spend 3 hours less sitting in the car per work day.
Con:
(Eva-related)
1) Less time spent listening to the radio/news. Less aware of what's going on outside of Iowa.

Pro:
(Work-related)
1) Leave for work 10 minutes before I have to be clocked in, vs. 90 minutes.
2) Not working every weekend.
3) No more collecting poop/pee/snot specimens.
4) Variety of nursing experience for future resume.
5) Getting away from the small hospital I work at before the inevitable disaster hits related to their chronic understaffing.
6) Getting away from the stupid computer charting system at work.
7) Learn something new.
8) A work schedule that isn't designed by a monkey on crack.
9) Getting lunch routinely.
10) Having patients scheduled, rather than them showing up 10 at a time.
11) No more patients checking in for a work excuse. Or a toothache. Or an STD. Or "I'm hungry".
12) Getting rid of some specific coworkers.
Con:
(Work-related)
1) After initial novelty, every day becomes the same. Boring.
2) Getting rid of some specific coworkers.
3) Will this be enough of a challenge?
4) No traumas.
5) Being on call.

Pro:
(Home-related)
1) Working a similar schedule with Marie.
2) Able to do more stuff as a couple.
3) Not having to schedule anything/everything for Wednesdays (the one day I don't work now)
4) Feel part of the community.
Con:
1) Changes the current chore plan.
2) Kids spend more time alone.
3) Less alone time.

And now, inspired by someone on Marie's LJ who thought I was applying for the hospital METH lab, that pro-con list too:

Pro:
1) Better pay.
2) Excitement.
3) Refresh my chemistry skills.
4) Trauma & burn nursing.
5) The more patients, the better.
Con:
1) Legal hassles.
2) Becoming tooth-impaired.
3) Losing my stunning good looks.
4) Workplace violence.
5) Probably not OSHA compliant.

Seems to be a tossup....

Crimson Heimlich Snugglebutt Alarm-clock Loaf Sillyboy knows how much sleep people need, and ensures they always wake up 5 minutes before they get to that point.

When I started talking at work about the upcoming move to Marshalltown, I heard a rumor that one of my coworkers was from that area. Not a big surprise - sure, it's about an hour away from the hospital we both work at, but lots of people seem to commute in 30-60 mins. Thought it was interesting, but left it at that for the past few weeks until I could see said coworker in person and ask.

And it's true. Next question, obviously - where? So I try to explain where with my still-limited knowledge base of landmarks, and she tries to coordinate with her limited sense of direction. It's roughly the same part of town in relation to the mall and the high school. Yeah, I know where Olive & 3rd Street are, that's close. I know her street name - Marie wanted to find a house on that street, so it stuck in my head where that was. She's not entirely familiar with my street name other than the fact that it's close. I know it's close, as in the next street over, so we pull up the ever-popular google map to demonstrate that.

"So which house?" I explain our house, the barn-like aspect, pointing at it on the zoomed-in map and confirming that yes, it's brown, and no that I'm not kidding that that's the one we're getting. She knows that house, knows that there was a family that just moved out of it not too long ago, because it's right behind her house. Literally. We share a freaking fence.

What are the odds?

A few days ago, I was sitting in the breakroom at lunch with one of the nursing supervisors and a coworker. The TV was on, to FOX, because this coworker is married to some Republican politician, and they did some brief little blurb on Occupy Wall Street. Coworker said "Now those guys just piss me off. They should just get a job."

And I bit my tongue. There were a number of replies I really really wanted to make, and probably would have, had I not had to work with this person again or had my supervisor (whose good friends with this coworker) been sitting right there. So instead, I rant at LJ. Yay for job security.

I wanted to say "You know, just going and getting a job isn't exactly the easiest thing these days. You've been working here at this hospital for what - 35 years, since you graduated from the nursing school associated with this hospital? Back in 1976 - I know the date because your picture is on the wall of the nursing school - the country was not in the midst of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. In 1976 you didn't have to compete with people all around the planet for a job. When you started to attend the nurse training program at the hospital, the structure was set up for you to immediately get a nursing job at the hospital after graduating. Things have changed a bit in the three and a half decades since you had to think about looking for a job. Today, even new nurses (one of the few careers that are hiring and where there is demand for new staff) have to struggle to find a job and it can take months to get any position, much less one practicing the type of nursing you want to do. I know, because some of my peers took half a year to find a job, and they got stuck with crappy med-surg positions, and even though they've continued to job hunt, they haven't been able to find anything else. Remember, that's for people in a relatively good section of the economy. And these individuals have a BSN and also a BA/BS in some other field, meaning they're more highly educated than you and most other new nurses. These folks are smart enough to get that BSN in 1 year. Two come to mind who are multilingual - speaking 3 different languages each, which you know can be helpful in a hospital. If the job market is so bad for them, imagine now what it must be like for people who chose a different career path. And before you say "McDonalds is always hiring", let me just add this other little anecdote I heard last night. One of the night shift nurses - one you probably never see because you've been here so long you can dictate an ideal 9-5 schedule and don't see any of the night shift nurses - was talking about how her high school son had just tried to get one of those jobs at McDonalds - one that is actually hiring, too. Said kid couldn't get a job because he had no experience. Yes, McDonalds can be that picky and is rejecting kids because they have no experience in the food service industry. McDonalds is where you apply if you have no work experience - it's about as entry-level as you can get in the workforce. "Just getting a job" isn't as easy these days as it was for you. And if you want to exercise that brain of yours a bit, now consider what it must feel like to have busted your butt to get through college, taking out all sorts of student loans, because growing up you heard that was the way to avoid being stuck working at McDonalds. Now that you've graduated and have all this debt, nobody is hiring, including McDonalds. But on TV, you can see that the people who wrecked the economy are making $400/hr, giving themselves multi-million dollar bonuses out of bailout money because they increased share prices by $0.01 through closing some factories and shipping jobs to Malaysia. Perhaps you might be pissed off, too."

What is it about anniversaries of tragedy that lead people to discuss their own experiences in that event? People talk about where they were, what they were doing, what their lives were like when they became part of the event. Pearl Harbor. Assassination of JFK. Princess Diana's death. 9/11. Is it a coping mechanism? Pride? A survival instinct? A way to bond with the rest of mankind? A way to say 'I was there, I'm one of US, not one of THEM'? Why does this only come about after something horrific? Is it because the good stuff isn't national? A wedding anniversary or birth lets you look back on a day, but since its only significant for a small number of people, there's no need to have a big talk at work about where you were when Bob & Sue got married or little Timmy was born. But tragedy affects us all - even when we live 3000 miles away from it. Maybe we're just wired as a species to focus on the bad - so we can learn how not to be eaten by the lions & tigers out there.

In a way, I'm proud that I was already in the Army on 9/11. I didn't need a disaster to instill patriotism and make me join. Soldiers who served under me almost always joined because of 9/11. For my peers, it had just been just another job. Few people were still around that had been drafted in, most put on a uniform because they enjoyed the lifestyle and the job they did. I wonder if I would have still enlisted in a post-9/11 environment, and I don't know the answer. Maybe.

On the anniversary I think about what has changed for me over those years. Made & lost friends. Found a wife & cats. On 9/11 I was in some of the best shape of my life; now I've got a lot more wear & tear on my body. My career path has changed half a dozen times, I've traveled around the world, seen some strange and wonderful sights. And through it all, I still find myself up on the computer at 5 in the morning for no good reason. Some things don't really change, I guess.

Dear patient:

I know your back hurts. I care, I really do.

But I'm not going to pull the only doctor out of a code so he can see you, tell you you were a dumbass that should have talked to your primary doctor before pulling out your stent, then write you prescriptions for narcotics. Sorry, saving lives comes first. You may be uncomfortable, but you'll live. The screaming you hear coming from next door - and the crying that you hear in the hallway outside your room - that's because somebody else is worse off than you right now. Count yourself lucky. It's not like you made an appointment tonight. You'll get seen when we get a chance.

But let me tell you this: you're walking around the hallways, unassisted. You're swearing. You're throwing things and smashing things and stomping and putting on a big show. Don't think I didn't notice. But I also noticed that when I told you that the doc would be in as soon as he could, and that we'd be saving time if you let me take your vital signs and find out about things like current medications & allergies, you calmed right down to normal & polite. And then back to full-on hissy fit 5 minutes later because the doc still hadn't left the bedside of the patient in cardiac arrest to deal with you. All that profanity? You've got a good airway and are breathing just fine. Lungs are perfect, I can hear from across the room. Stomping and throwing things and wandering around? Your heart is doing its job, your little brain is working too. The doctor coming in to see you right now vs. in an hour vs. 2 days from now won't change the fact that you'll live. Sure, you're uncomfortable. I get that. I care. But you're not my priority right now.

And just for a little bit of perspective, after your stormed out of the ER in your hissy fit, promising to yourself that you'd somehow punish us by never coming back here again, we were happy. We were happy for you, in that maybe you'd get to another hospital and find the help you need. Maybe they have more staff, maybe they don't have someone actively dying that they're trying to save. But maybe it's going to be a bit of a wait for you. 15 minutes after you left, the doc was ready for you - where were you? Stuck in traffic? Sulking your way back home? Sitting in another waiting room, waiting to be triaged and seen? I guarantee that had you stayed, you would have gotten something for pain control faster than you ultimately did. And that extra delay in making you better - in a small way that we don't want to admit, that makes us happy too. Just like we're happy that we no longer have to put up with your attitude. Potentially, we won't have to deal with your temper-tantrums ever again if you get your way and we get ours. And when you complain to all your friends - if you have any - about how bad you were treated, we'll happily skip serving them, too. In the meantime, that lack of business will be made up for and then some by the family whose Dad came back from the dead because, in the less than 40 minutes you were waiting (in a room, already assessed & needing only the doctor's order for all your problems to be fixed by the nurse who had already stayed a full hour late after a 12-hour shift because you showed up unannounced & unexpected and nobody else was around to cater to your every need), the doc was able to focus on what he needed to do and wasn't distracted by a whiny & stupid drama-queen drug-seeker.

Love, Your Nurse.

PS: Thank you for the overtime. The 40 minutes of overtime for putting up with you is more than offset by the additional hour of documenting your crazy antics in peace and quiet.

1) No keys. No traditional turning-the-key to start Eva, or shut down. It's just got the power button, a 'park' button, and the remote sensor. The remote sensor is kinda nifty - it's like Eva knows when I walk up to her and open the door - almost like she has some sort of biometrics, but not. Parking and remembering to push all the right buttons instead of just moving the gearshift and turning the key is still taking some extra brainpower to adapt to.

2) Mileage. I'm getting close to the 1000 mile mark, and I've filled up twice. I like that.

3) Power plug. Eeyore had an actual outlet, which I loved. Eva doesn't - just the silly cigarette-lighter style ones. Why do they still make those? At some point I'm going to want to invest in an adapter so that I can plug in my phone charger or whatnot.

4) Navigation system. Most of the time I leave the map off - I typically don't need one, especially when I'm driving routes I travel on a regular basis. However, it IS nice to be able to ask Eva to tell me where the nearest Starbucks is when I'm in a new town.

5) HUD. The center-console display for all the driver's dash information is a slight improvement over standard dashboards - it's easy to see info without taking your eyes far from the road, however, at the same time, it can be a little distracting.

6) Buttons. The dozens of little buttons for the A/C, radio, & navigation system are all clustered close together, so that you have to look to make sure you're pressing the right one. It's not like you can easily reach over and know that this knob is the air conditioning and that one click clockwise will put the blower on top and feet. That particular button is inconveniently located behind the shifter. The button that takes the place of the dial for A/C strength is way over in the top right corner. Temperature settting, at least, is located on the steering wheel, along with some radio and display controls.

7) Cupholders. Not as many as Eeyore. EDIT: Marie pointed out that actually, there are the same number of cup holders. They're just placed in different locations so that it seems like less.

8) Change holders. Eeyore had two spots to stick coins for tolls/drive thrus/ meters. In Eva, I'm stuck using one of the door-based cupholders for that.

9) Wipers. The rear wiper stays vertical most of the time, then wipes rain down and off. Much more sensible than trying to push the water off to the side.

I sent off the paperwork today for the insurance to reimburse me for Eeyore being totaled. It's a sad moment for me - but I think I've moved on to the acceptance stage of grieving. I drove past the junkyard/repair shop that he was taken to for the official assessment of the damage and said my goodbye coming home from work one night last week, which I think was therapeutic.

Monday Marie & I went up to Minneapolis to do some test drives for a new car - I'd called around to places and that was the only place nearby that had all the models I wanted to compare. My internet research had led me to a top 3: Toyota Prius, Honda Insight, and Toyota Matrix. The Matrix was a comfortable option - I could get a 2010/2011 model still, which has changed a bit from Eeyore, but I knew I liked it and it'd be something Marie would easily adjust to. The Toyota Prius seemed promising with a comparable amount of roominess and nifty features, but with almost twice the mpg. Adjusting to a hybrid might take some time, especially since the dash displays were very different as well. The Honda seemed like a way to split the difference - moderate mpg, normal dash, mostly traditional-style car. Of course, the question marks for the Insight were quality, higher cost, and mediocrity in comparison to the Prius.

Got to the Toyota dealership and tried to find the sales rep I'd spoken to on the phone. He had left for lunch, so someone else helped me out with test driving the Prius first. The high-tech funkiness that concerned me from my test drive of an 08 Prius was eased down - the dash was different, but during the drive I found it just as good, if not slightly better. The performance was a bit better than the 08; it had some mild passivity that I expected from any hybrid, but I got up onto the interstate without a problem. Unlike my earlier test drive of a Honda Fit, I had no visibility problems from massive blind spots. Got into the Matrix next, and it felt somehow clunky and wrong - like driving the neighbor's used & abused pickup. The ride wasn't as smooth, the merge onto the interstate wasn't significantly better, and I couldn't get the thought out of my head that getting the Matrix would be a big step backwards.

Decided that I didn't need to even go to the Honda dealership anymore. Talked with the sales guy, and like all the other dealers I'd spoken to he didn't have any available that weren't pre-sold already, but had a red one coming in in a week or so. I found this particularly amusing, because on the drive up, Marie and I had talked about the oh-so-important color of the car, and I had said that I couldn't see myself in a red car. Sales guy looked at his computer and saw that some nearby dealers had a blue one and two black ones available, and perhaps he could talk to them and basically trade his red for one of those. Satisfied with that, we placed a deposit and went about our business.

Yesterday, got a voicemail at work - the trades fell through or the other cars were already sold, but the red was still an option. Did some more research on dealers before bedtime. It'd be nice if the websites for all these dealers were accurate - what's the point of a display of new inventory if you don't actually have those cars? Got up early today and started calling, and found an unclaimed black Prius en route to Madison, WI, where it should be arriving within the week. Put a deposit down to claim that one, called Minneapolis and told them to refund our deposit, and now I'm just waiting on it to arrive.

Etymology of the name 'Eva': I had been trying to think of another 'E' name - it's become traditional in this family to repeat initial letters/sounds for similar named things. Cats are Keiko and Crimson. Computers Sushi and Seaweed. Eeyore #2 needed an E-name. E2 seemed too Star Wars, even if it stood for Electric Eeyore. The Prius is sleek, highly evolved, much like the she-robot on WALL-E. Her name was officially Eve, but due to WALL-E's robotic accent, he always called her 'Eeeee-Vaaaah'. Hence, Eva. There's a remote chance that, once the car shows up, it may manifest a more masculine personality and become an Evo, but right now Eva seems to be right.

Hit a deer coming home from work, smashing out a headlight and doing a bit of body damage. Noticed that the odometer/speedometer weren't working on the way home, but didn't think much of it. Figured it had something to do with the check engine light being on, the emergency brake light being on (the brake wasn't), and the airbag light being on. Was more concerned that the airbag hadn't gone off for a 70mph collision, but I guess the sensor must have been medial enough to not be tripped by the smashing. Got off the road, called the cops, called USAA, got a better look at the damage, and finally limped home on the interstate at a whopping 0mph. Oh, and it's 0.0 miles from Des Moines to Ames. At least 0 was the speed the semi in front of me went, so I guess that meant I was OK.

Called USAA back to file the big report, and they say based upon my description of the above, there's a possibility that Eeyore will be officially totaled. They have to do their inspection & stuff - Tuesday - but depending on what they see, and then later what the repair shop sees (if the inspection goes OK), I may be in the market for a new car. Yes, it's something I'd had lurking in the back of my mind, since Eeyore's mileage was getting up there, but I wasn't expecting to have this decision forced on me suddenly. 2-3 years down the road, yeah. Sigh.

Now I've got to keep my fingers crossed that Eeyore will pass his checkup. He's been such a good little car, and I don't want to have to give him up yet.